For the last six or so months, I’ve been wrestling with my body.

Or maybe I've been wrestling with:

• Constantly feeling super tired, worn out, and fatigued
• Headaches and digestion issues and more frequent migraines
• Feeling more puffy, having more cravings, and gaining some weight
• And with the fact that despite doing all the right things, I haven’t been feeling my best, and I need an explanation

Or maybe I've been wrestling with whatever it is that's making me feel all of those things.

Or mayyyyybe it's all of the above, except I always had a feeling what was causing it (stress, hello), even though I felt like I should be able to sustain my level of doing and achieving and traveling and still feel better than I do right now.

Turns out, I was wrong.

To give you some more context, I started a more official search for answers a few of months ago when I visited a naturopathic doctor for the first time.

I got some bloodwork done, then due to travel and other things going on in life, I didn't review it with my doctor last week.

Even though nearly everything was in the "healthy" range on paper, it turns out that my morning cortisol is on the extremely low end, and could be explaining basically all of my symptoms.

And it sounds like it could be the result of prolonged stress, which might be the words you'd use to describe the last couple of years of uprooting my life, ending a relationship, temporarily moving in with my parents, processing the loss of my dad (it's also his birthday tomorrow), managing his entire estate (which technically still isn't fully finished two years later), working 40+ hours a week, owning and cleaning and keeping up with a house by myself, walking 10k+ steps a day, eating healthy, nutritious homemade meals, working out, doing outdoor activities I love (hiking, walking, skiing, biking), doing laundry, putting it away, traveling around the world, maintaining long distance friendships and familial relationships, trying to build friendships and community in Boise, journaling daily, going to wellness events, taking care of my mental health, meditating, healing my inner child, planning for upcoming trips and weddings and conferences, and trying to keep my head clear and my to-do list somewhat manageable the entire time.

I'm sure I missed some things, but you get the point. I'm sure you have a lot on your plate, too.

This realization has prompted me to reevaluate how I approach fitness, nutrition, and my overall well-being for now. Yes, I'm still wildly committed to my health and nutrition and my overall wellness, but it's somewhat of a give and take.

In some areas, I'm being more intentional about reducing stressors in my life, like:

• Cutting out added sugar
• Limiting alcohol (basically removing it altogether except for the occasional drink or two)
• Stepping away from things or activities or people who aren't aligned
• Not wasting time on social media

In other areas, I'm trying to stay consistent, while listening to my body and what it really needs:

• Going on walks outside first thing in the morning, to help raise my cortisol first thing in the morning
• A regular sleep and wake schedule
• Working out when I feel up for it, but not pushing it if I don't (that was the case today)
• When I work out, making sure I don't over do it or engage in high intensity exercises that could add unnecessary stress
• Leaning into low-impact activities I enjoy, like yoga, pilates and walks outside

I guess this is just a modified version of what I usually do, although I'm certainly being more strict in some areas, and more forgiving and flexible in other areas. And that's okay.

So for now, for however long it takes, I'm reminding myself that I am enough and that my worth isn't tied to the amount of calories I burn everyday and that rest and recovery and healing are absolutely necessary to living a long, happy, healthy life and fitness might look a little different right now and that's okay.

💕 Morgan

​