It's true...

I’m a fitness coach who has only gone to the gym three times this month.

Not because I didn’t want to, but because I have been wrestling with my health.

And not in any totally serious way at this point, but in a “I take really good care of myself and I shouldn’t feel this crappy” type of way.

In a “I’m doing all of the right things to rest and heal and grow so why have I been fighting a cold for months? Why am I so tired all the time? And why won’t the pressure in my head go away” type of way.

As someone who finds so much joy in movement, and as someone who builds her life around it in many ways, these days and weeks and months have been a struggle.

While I look back on the last 23 days, I won’t focus on the struggle or the missed workouts or the intrusive thoughts that told me that I wasn’t doing enough or moving my body enough, because those thoughts don't serve me (even if they are true).

Instead, I’ll accept everything that is and then focus on all the things I did do, and on all the ways I’ve grown or pushed myself over these days, to cultivate a positive, growth-oriented mindset, despite less than ideal circumstances.

During a time of year that can be hard and stressful and generally difficult to manage, I've recognized that I don't need to be one of those things that's up against myself, and you shouldn't be either.

We can all spend more time with the thoughts and behaviors that serve us instead.

Here are a few of those things on my list:

I gave myself more physical rest over the last 23 days than I have in a long time. It was hard because I didn’t necessarily feel better because of it, but I know that I needed to take a break and slow down, and I feel proud knowing that I did just that.

I continued to eat on days that I felt sick, which is an accomplishment because I used to use being sick as an excuse to restrict myself, even though I was always starving when I would do that. Overcoming disordered eating patterns and refraining from previous and toxic ways of doing and thinking is no small feat.

I meal prepped and focused on eating filling, nutritious meals, while allowing myself to enjoy treats and holiday parties and the occasional drinks in peace. Giving myself complete and full permission to enjoy myself during this time of year, despite moving my body less, actually prevented me from binging or self sabotaging.

I did some Pilates and yoga and still went on some walks and I even went skiing four times this month on days where I had the energy to do so. These activities filled my cup and helped me remember that slower, more intentional, or more fun activities are just as important as the ones that happen in the gym. There is room for it all in a long, sustainable, healthy lifestyle.

I finally took the leap to see a naturopath and get labs and bloodwork done so that I can get more insight into what’s causing my symptoms and finally heal. This is just the beginning of the process, but I finally faced the thing I’ve been putting off which feels soooooo good and I’m insanely excited to understand my body and what it needs even more

If you are wrestling with all the workouts you missed, all the activities you skipped, and ultimately, if you’re struggling with feeling any less worthy or lovable or adequate because you’ve been doing less - take some time to reframe it and focus on all the things you did do.

Then, if you could have been better, if you could have showed up for yourself more, if you could have tried harder, or if you could have been nicer or more compassionate toward yourself… make a plan on how you can do those things moving forward.

Merry Christmas Eve and Happy Holidays, I'm sending you love and my best wishes wherever you are and whatever you may be celebrating.

💕 Morgan
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